My head hurts. I told Steph this morning when I woke up that it felt like it weighed 10 lbs. I quickly realized this wasn't a very descriptive statement, give that the average human head weighs 8-11 lbs (depending on which hastily googled reference you believe). The point being I have a cold and that sucks. Not as bad as, say, chemo or the flu to pick a couple examples off the top of my head, but it's just enough to be yucky. Not that I have any room to complain, or time to do so, but my head feels like it weighs...oh, let's say 20 lbs., with a midget pushing on the walls trying to get out. Blah.
In other news, everything is officially in place for the home purchase. We close in a week and 2 hours. It's starting to feel like a real thing that's happening! It is going to be very nice to have space, especially when Steph is needing to convalesce and the kids want to scream and go nuts. Hooray for a basement! Moving plans are still somewhat up in the air. We want to be in our house ASAP. There's a good 2 month overlap between the apt and the house, but why stay in a 1000 sq ft apt when we own an almost 3000 sq ft house? I mean really?!
Friday, February 29, 2008
Sunday, February 24, 2008
A month?!
Yeesh, time flies when you're busy as poop.
The first thing I must share is a little book called "The Monster at the End of This Book." I would hope that everybody reading this has had the joy of sharing this quintessential tome of childhood with someone they love, but if not the basic idea is this: Grover is afraid of monsters, so he REALLY wants you to stop trying to get to the end of the book because there's a MONSTER there. It's really best told by the pros (though this obviously wasn't *filmed* by a pro...the room isn't built for video capture):
Another fun moment in daddyhood occurred at the mall today. K1 was at a Build-a-Bear party, so Steph and K2 & I were killing time in the food court. K2 had requested an ice cream cone, and like millions of parents before me I kept eying the tilt of the cone vs. the meltiness factor of DQ soft-serve and bracing myself for the moment when the entire works went either on the floor or all over her clothes. I realized my concern was misdirected when Steph knocked over her glass of ice water and made a much more spectacular mess than K2 had been able to manage. It was great.
In other wonderful news, we close on our new home in under 2 weeks now. It's a gorgeous house in Westminster, close to Wads and Hwy 36 so we'll have good access to major highways. We've done the inspection and the appraisal and all that and everything is progressing smoothly towards closing and moving in. It will be my 3rd time to move in 10 months, and my friends have already started telling me they won't be available whenever we get the truck (I think they're serious too...). The upside is that I will be living in an actual HOUSE for the first time since I moved out of my parents' house in Arvada in 1998 to go to college in Illinois. And once this move is over I won't be changing residences again for a very long time. That's a good thing. I'm ecstatic to make this step in adulthood, but I can't quite wrap my brain around the fact that "Homeowner" will soon be a title that applies to me. It's right up there with people calling me "Mr. West."
Cancer continues to suck, but chemo is progressing and seems to be doing the trick. If you don't know where to find those updates and would like to, leave a message or email me.
The first thing I must share is a little book called "The Monster at the End of This Book." I would hope that everybody reading this has had the joy of sharing this quintessential tome of childhood with someone they love, but if not the basic idea is this: Grover is afraid of monsters, so he REALLY wants you to stop trying to get to the end of the book because there's a MONSTER there. It's really best told by the pros (though this obviously wasn't *filmed* by a pro...the room isn't built for video capture):
Another fun moment in daddyhood occurred at the mall today. K1 was at a Build-a-Bear party, so Steph and K2 & I were killing time in the food court. K2 had requested an ice cream cone, and like millions of parents before me I kept eying the tilt of the cone vs. the meltiness factor of DQ soft-serve and bracing myself for the moment when the entire works went either on the floor or all over her clothes. I realized my concern was misdirected when Steph knocked over her glass of ice water and made a much more spectacular mess than K2 had been able to manage. It was great.
In other wonderful news, we close on our new home in under 2 weeks now. It's a gorgeous house in Westminster, close to Wads and Hwy 36 so we'll have good access to major highways. We've done the inspection and the appraisal and all that and everything is progressing smoothly towards closing and moving in. It will be my 3rd time to move in 10 months, and my friends have already started telling me they won't be available whenever we get the truck (I think they're serious too...). The upside is that I will be living in an actual HOUSE for the first time since I moved out of my parents' house in Arvada in 1998 to go to college in Illinois. And once this move is over I won't be changing residences again for a very long time. That's a good thing. I'm ecstatic to make this step in adulthood, but I can't quite wrap my brain around the fact that "Homeowner" will soon be a title that applies to me. It's right up there with people calling me "Mr. West."
Cancer continues to suck, but chemo is progressing and seems to be doing the trick. If you don't know where to find those updates and would like to, leave a message or email me.
Tuesday, January 29, 2008
Things Dora has taught me
This will only make sense to Dora the Explorer fans and parents thereof. The rest of you can deal :-)
1) Stealing is bad, but thieves are remarkably easy to deter. Swiper the Fox is a little klepto, but he will immediately stop trying to take your stuff if you catch him in the act. If only home burglaries could be resolved by the homeowner walking in and saying "Jailbird Joe, NO SWIPING!" Of course the character of Swiper seems to solely be defined by his penchant for stealing stuff, so we're also learning about career criminals. He never gets away with anything though, so the label of Swiper seems harsh. Isn't that like branding someone a "murderer" when they've only attempted murder? I want to see a bio of Swiper to see what he swiped that branded him for the rest of his life. There must have been one caper he got away with...
2) The gap between "vamenos" and "vete tu" is clearly defined in children. K2 loves Dora. She'll sit engrossed and play along with episodes she's seen 5 times. She knows the map, can direct you to the next location, helps fling the poor fallen star back into the sky with her hands...she's there to help! K1 is so totally over it. K2 was watching the Easter episode at one point and K1 lost it when Dora was asking where the eggs were. "Geez! It's right by the bush! You're not a good looker Dora!" "Why can't you EVER find things?! You're a terrible explorer!" I laughed quietly from the other room before asking him to not ruin his sister's viewing pleasure.
3) ANYTHING can fit in a backpack! This is aided by the fact that everything Dora owns is an identical size. The lollipop is the same size as a tennis racket or tape or rope. Wouldn't that be handy?
4) Talking maps will always get you where you want to go! I almost wonder if this is a campaign originated by the makers of TomTom or one of those...if kids grow up with the idea that maps should say things like "Go past the Big Spooky Forest and around the Tall Rocks to get to The Witch's House," they're more likely to require that technology in their car down the road, right?
I think I need to go intervene before my brain gets Dora'd out. Time for a new DVD for the sickie!
1) Stealing is bad, but thieves are remarkably easy to deter. Swiper the Fox is a little klepto, but he will immediately stop trying to take your stuff if you catch him in the act. If only home burglaries could be resolved by the homeowner walking in and saying "Jailbird Joe, NO SWIPING!" Of course the character of Swiper seems to solely be defined by his penchant for stealing stuff, so we're also learning about career criminals. He never gets away with anything though, so the label of Swiper seems harsh. Isn't that like branding someone a "murderer" when they've only attempted murder? I want to see a bio of Swiper to see what he swiped that branded him for the rest of his life. There must have been one caper he got away with...
2) The gap between "vamenos" and "vete tu" is clearly defined in children. K2 loves Dora. She'll sit engrossed and play along with episodes she's seen 5 times. She knows the map, can direct you to the next location, helps fling the poor fallen star back into the sky with her hands...she's there to help! K1 is so totally over it. K2 was watching the Easter episode at one point and K1 lost it when Dora was asking where the eggs were. "Geez! It's right by the bush! You're not a good looker Dora!" "Why can't you EVER find things?! You're a terrible explorer!" I laughed quietly from the other room before asking him to not ruin his sister's viewing pleasure.
3) ANYTHING can fit in a backpack! This is aided by the fact that everything Dora owns is an identical size. The lollipop is the same size as a tennis racket or tape or rope. Wouldn't that be handy?
4) Talking maps will always get you where you want to go! I almost wonder if this is a campaign originated by the makers of TomTom or one of those...if kids grow up with the idea that maps should say things like "Go past the Big Spooky Forest and around the Tall Rocks to get to The Witch's House," they're more likely to require that technology in their car down the road, right?
I think I need to go intervene before my brain gets Dora'd out. Time for a new DVD for the sickie!
Saturday, January 26, 2008
Moving (?)!
It's been weeks since I posted about moving in here, so it must be time to think about moving again!
We have been discussing the purchase of a home for quite awhile. Apartment living has advantages, but throwing away money monthly kind of sucks. We would like to have a place to call our own. Not to mention that we currently live a minimum of 20 minutes from any of the significant destinations in our regular schedules (jobs, daycare, and school). After considering Aurora to be closer to jobs, sense was talked into us by several people who pointed out that it is much better to live where you want to be on the weekends and such, rather than purchasing for a job that may or may not change in the time you plan on being in the same house. With this in mind we are now looking over in the North Arvada/Westminster area. After getting approved on a home loan* we toured a few places today. 5 in all, narrowed rapidly down to 2 that are nice houses in our price range. 4 bedrooms are required in any house that we buy, so K1, K2, and the aptly named "Number 3" will all have their own bedrooms down the road. It's fun to look at homes with Stephanie and think about where the next 20-50 years will take us... :-)
*I'm about to say something positive about Bush. Hold your breath and plug your nose...Thanks George W. Bush for so thoroughly trashing the economy that interest rates are ridiculously low and nobody else is buying houses! It really helps this process that the economy is shot to hell, and I appreciate your part in that.
We have been discussing the purchase of a home for quite awhile. Apartment living has advantages, but throwing away money monthly kind of sucks. We would like to have a place to call our own. Not to mention that we currently live a minimum of 20 minutes from any of the significant destinations in our regular schedules (jobs, daycare, and school). After considering Aurora to be closer to jobs, sense was talked into us by several people who pointed out that it is much better to live where you want to be on the weekends and such, rather than purchasing for a job that may or may not change in the time you plan on being in the same house. With this in mind we are now looking over in the North Arvada/Westminster area. After getting approved on a home loan* we toured a few places today. 5 in all, narrowed rapidly down to 2 that are nice houses in our price range. 4 bedrooms are required in any house that we buy, so K1, K2, and the aptly named "Number 3" will all have their own bedrooms down the road. It's fun to look at homes with Stephanie and think about where the next 20-50 years will take us... :-)
*I'm about to say something positive about Bush. Hold your breath and plug your nose...Thanks George W. Bush for so thoroughly trashing the economy that interest rates are ridiculously low and nobody else is buying houses! It really helps this process that the economy is shot to hell, and I appreciate your part in that.
Sunday, January 6, 2008
Moving and New Years and skiing
Wow what a week.
I officially live with my wife and kids now! What a concept. I had moved in spirit quite a while ago, and my apartment was pretty much neglected for most of the time I lived there. Once Falkor found a new home my only reason for ever putting in an appearance there disappeared. Now I don't have to pay rent any more and none of my stuff lives there either, and that's the real change. My worldly possessions are mostly in a garage waiting for us to buy a house so we will have a need for it again. The necessities have followed me indoors, but with 3 people already living here in a 2-bedroom apartment there wasn't a ton of room to begin with. Much thanks are in order to Wendy, Payal, and Ritika for the packing assistance, and Jarrod, Kathy, Tim, Erin, and my new family for helping get my stuff out and safely stowed where it needs to be.
New Years Eve was everything I wanted it to be. For dinner we took the kids to La Fondue, where the highlight was definitely the Chocolate Fondue for dessert. K1 enjoyed dipping things and cooking them but wasn't so much into the "eating" part. We had fun though, and then it was 8:30 and time to head over to the 16th Street Mall for fireworks. Denver is very considerate of people with early bedtimes: there are 2 showings of the New Year fireworks display, at 9 and midnight. So we wandered for 30 minutes, bought a light-up sword for K1, a trumpety noisemaker for K2, and waited for explosions over our heads. We seriously misjudged where the fireworks would come from, so we were quite surprised when they started going off RIGHT ABOVE OUR HEADS, and not 2 blocks away like we had thought. It was loud and beautiful and a great moment to share with my new family. When it ended we headed home and were all in bed asleep by 10:30. I haven't failed to stay up until midnight for a long time, but this year we were all exhausted and it seemed quite appropriate!
Yesterday we got to go up skiing. A quick recap...my last time skiing was February 25 last year, when I went up with this girl from work named Stephanie. We barely knew each other, but we got along well and both enjoyed skiing so we spent a whole day alone together. That day was enjoyable enough to lead to more hanging out, hiking, marriage, that type of thing.
So we went yesterday with the kids and the Myers family. They're fun folks- they have 2 kids at daycare the same ages as our 2, and a newborn (who has croup, so mom couldn't come along yesterday.) Skiing had mixed results. K1 did fine on the bunny slope, but panicked when we got to the top of a big green run. I ended up going alone with him due to lift ticket issues and I've never 1) taught anyone how to ski or 2) skied with a child. After falling once he wouldn't try on his own anymore, so we went down most of the way with him between my legs doing the best I could to make it an enjoyable experience. I don't know that I did well at that at all. He fell a couple times, we got run over once (by a jackass skiing straight ahead while looking uphill), and he ended up taking off his skis and wanting to walk the rest of the way down, crying uncontrollably towards the bottom because he was cold and tired.
I think that one ski run is the first time I really felt like I was completely failing as a father. K1 was miserable and I was incapable of making it fun for him or getting him off the hill to warmth and comfort. Some ski patrol folks saw us after awhile and one of the guys picked K1 up and skied him down to the bottom, so we made it off the mountain, but I feel like I ruined skiing for him forever. K1 swears he will never go up a big lift ever again and that's pretty much my fault. It went exactly the way Stephanie told me beforehand that she didn't want it to go.
K2 was a different story and that brightened up the afternoon. She loved skiing, laughed off most falls, and generally kept her no-fear 3-year-old attitude intact throughout the day on the bunny slope. That was definitely a bright point in an otherwise frustrating day. After skiing we went to dinner with the extended Myers family (all friendly folks) and then made the long trek home. Steph and I are plenty sore today, but that's to be expected after any day skiing. I just hope K1 will try the whole thing again sometime.
I officially live with my wife and kids now! What a concept. I had moved in spirit quite a while ago, and my apartment was pretty much neglected for most of the time I lived there. Once Falkor found a new home my only reason for ever putting in an appearance there disappeared. Now I don't have to pay rent any more and none of my stuff lives there either, and that's the real change. My worldly possessions are mostly in a garage waiting for us to buy a house so we will have a need for it again. The necessities have followed me indoors, but with 3 people already living here in a 2-bedroom apartment there wasn't a ton of room to begin with. Much thanks are in order to Wendy, Payal, and Ritika for the packing assistance, and Jarrod, Kathy, Tim, Erin, and my new family for helping get my stuff out and safely stowed where it needs to be.
New Years Eve was everything I wanted it to be. For dinner we took the kids to La Fondue, where the highlight was definitely the Chocolate Fondue for dessert. K1 enjoyed dipping things and cooking them but wasn't so much into the "eating" part. We had fun though, and then it was 8:30 and time to head over to the 16th Street Mall for fireworks. Denver is very considerate of people with early bedtimes: there are 2 showings of the New Year fireworks display, at 9 and midnight. So we wandered for 30 minutes, bought a light-up sword for K1, a trumpety noisemaker for K2, and waited for explosions over our heads. We seriously misjudged where the fireworks would come from, so we were quite surprised when they started going off RIGHT ABOVE OUR HEADS, and not 2 blocks away like we had thought. It was loud and beautiful and a great moment to share with my new family. When it ended we headed home and were all in bed asleep by 10:30. I haven't failed to stay up until midnight for a long time, but this year we were all exhausted and it seemed quite appropriate!
Yesterday we got to go up skiing. A quick recap...my last time skiing was February 25 last year, when I went up with this girl from work named Stephanie. We barely knew each other, but we got along well and both enjoyed skiing so we spent a whole day alone together. That day was enjoyable enough to lead to more hanging out, hiking, marriage, that type of thing.
So we went yesterday with the kids and the Myers family. They're fun folks- they have 2 kids at daycare the same ages as our 2, and a newborn (who has croup, so mom couldn't come along yesterday.) Skiing had mixed results. K1 did fine on the bunny slope, but panicked when we got to the top of a big green run. I ended up going alone with him due to lift ticket issues and I've never 1) taught anyone how to ski or 2) skied with a child. After falling once he wouldn't try on his own anymore, so we went down most of the way with him between my legs doing the best I could to make it an enjoyable experience. I don't know that I did well at that at all. He fell a couple times, we got run over once (by a jackass skiing straight ahead while looking uphill), and he ended up taking off his skis and wanting to walk the rest of the way down, crying uncontrollably towards the bottom because he was cold and tired.
I think that one ski run is the first time I really felt like I was completely failing as a father. K1 was miserable and I was incapable of making it fun for him or getting him off the hill to warmth and comfort. Some ski patrol folks saw us after awhile and one of the guys picked K1 up and skied him down to the bottom, so we made it off the mountain, but I feel like I ruined skiing for him forever. K1 swears he will never go up a big lift ever again and that's pretty much my fault. It went exactly the way Stephanie told me beforehand that she didn't want it to go.
K2 was a different story and that brightened up the afternoon. She loved skiing, laughed off most falls, and generally kept her no-fear 3-year-old attitude intact throughout the day on the bunny slope. That was definitely a bright point in an otherwise frustrating day. After skiing we went to dinner with the extended Myers family (all friendly folks) and then made the long trek home. Steph and I are plenty sore today, but that's to be expected after any day skiing. I just hope K1 will try the whole thing again sometime.
Saturday, December 29, 2007
2007
It's my favorite time of year. I don't dislike Christmas at all, but there's a psychic sigh of relief when it's over and expectations have been met and presents exchanged for one more year. I like this hangover period, when there's time to think about the last year and look forward to the next.
The year started in Los Angeles. I had never been to California before, but considering I was still sharing an apartment with a girl who spent most of 2006 getting up the nerve to dump me I decided I really needed to be away from Denver to ring in the new year. The Flaming Lips were doing a big New Year's show in LA with Gnarles Barkley, so I was there. I went alone. As 2006 was closing the Lips played the perfect song to end a crap year: "Suddenly, Everything has Changed." I was so happy to have the year behind me that it brought tears to my eyes, thinking the next year might be different.
Wow, has it been different. I fell in love (for real this time), got engaged, got married, became a stepdad, got a new car, a new job...just about everything a person could ask to come up roses has done so for me this year. It's been an amazing ride. The change in where I was a year ago versus what I have now is indescribable. (Which is why I feel a blog post attempting to describe it is necessary I guess...or something.)
I thought I had more to say, but words are really failing me thinking about all of this. Stephanie and the kids (and Arlo) have allowed me into their lives and it has filled up my heart with happy. A guy really couldn't ask for much more than has fallen into my lap over the last year. Yeah, sure, there's this little health issue currently impeding absolute 24/7 crazy ecstaticness, but that will be kicked in 2008. For 2007 I am immensely thankful for the incredible net happy gain.
On to 2008, and all of the adventures and good times to be found there!
The year started in Los Angeles. I had never been to California before, but considering I was still sharing an apartment with a girl who spent most of 2006 getting up the nerve to dump me I decided I really needed to be away from Denver to ring in the new year. The Flaming Lips were doing a big New Year's show in LA with Gnarles Barkley, so I was there. I went alone. As 2006 was closing the Lips played the perfect song to end a crap year: "Suddenly, Everything has Changed." I was so happy to have the year behind me that it brought tears to my eyes, thinking the next year might be different.
Wow, has it been different. I fell in love (for real this time), got engaged, got married, became a stepdad, got a new car, a new job...just about everything a person could ask to come up roses has done so for me this year. It's been an amazing ride. The change in where I was a year ago versus what I have now is indescribable. (Which is why I feel a blog post attempting to describe it is necessary I guess...or something.)
I thought I had more to say, but words are really failing me thinking about all of this. Stephanie and the kids (and Arlo) have allowed me into their lives and it has filled up my heart with happy. A guy really couldn't ask for much more than has fallen into my lap over the last year. Yeah, sure, there's this little health issue currently impeding absolute 24/7 crazy ecstaticness, but that will be kicked in 2008. For 2007 I am immensely thankful for the incredible net happy gain.
On to 2008, and all of the adventures and good times to be found there!
Monday, December 24, 2007
Christmas Eve 2007!
Last Christmas was...less than stellar for reasons I don't even want to think about any more. If you had told me then the happiness that would be entering my life in the following 365 days I never would have believed it. I hardly believe it even now. It's very exciting to be able to share this time with people I love this much.
Monday, December 17, 2007
Cuteness
Last Friday was the Christmas program at The Wooden Shoe. K2, being 3, was all excited to be in it. K1, being 6, didn't get to participate due to his big-kid kindergarten status. They let him wander down with Stephanie and my parents and I to watch though, so he got to see his sister perform her heart out.
They have this thing down pretty well. The kids were all on stage at once, but the lines were rotated in a snake-like fashion between every song, so no matter where you were sitting you'd get to see your kid at some point. There were 3-4 designated kids in front for each song, so everybody got a shot at being front and center (with mixed results). K2 was up front for the final song, Santa Clause is Coming to Town, which culminated in Santa Clause showing up. This was met by mixed reactions from the kids. He's not clown-scary, but I guess he can be pretty freaky in the right light maybe. And if you've been naughty it might be like having your parole officer show up at your bachelor party. But I digress. It was cute, and we have a natural performer on our hands, as evidenced here:
A related amusing moment occurred this morning. We got to the school and one of the office ladies up front started congratulating K1 on his AMAZING performance at the program and how LOUDLY he sang and Wow, you were Just SO Great!!! I'm sure she was giving this speech to every other kid who walked in the door, but seeing as how he hadn't sung in the program he was plenty confused. He asked, once we were out of earshot, "Why did she think I was my sister?" Oops! Kids see through fakeness! Ah well, the moment passed quickly.
They have this thing down pretty well. The kids were all on stage at once, but the lines were rotated in a snake-like fashion between every song, so no matter where you were sitting you'd get to see your kid at some point. There were 3-4 designated kids in front for each song, so everybody got a shot at being front and center (with mixed results). K2 was up front for the final song, Santa Clause is Coming to Town, which culminated in Santa Clause showing up. This was met by mixed reactions from the kids. He's not clown-scary, but I guess he can be pretty freaky in the right light maybe. And if you've been naughty it might be like having your parole officer show up at your bachelor party. But I digress. It was cute, and we have a natural performer on our hands, as evidenced here:
A related amusing moment occurred this morning. We got to the school and one of the office ladies up front started congratulating K1 on his AMAZING performance at the program and how LOUDLY he sang and Wow, you were Just SO Great!!! I'm sure she was giving this speech to every other kid who walked in the door, but seeing as how he hadn't sung in the program he was plenty confused. He asked, once we were out of earshot, "Why did she think I was my sister?" Oops! Kids see through fakeness! Ah well, the moment passed quickly.
sticky goo(gle)
I love my Google. I have my Gmail, I do this on Blogger, and I look *something* up on Google for actual work-related purposes at least 4-5 times a day. I don't like other search engines, no matter how fun their commercials are.
Last week I got a virus on my work computer. All that it did was hijack my Google. Somebody evil must have thought that one up. The searches looked fine, but clicking a link redirected to something unrelated (mostly...one cancer link sent me to a Neulasta ad...) It took my tech support friends a couple hours to make it go away. I was holding my breath for my continued access to Google searches, but luckily they pulled through and I can Google my heart out. All is right with the world. (At least on my computer :-P )
Last week I got a virus on my work computer. All that it did was hijack my Google. Somebody evil must have thought that one up. The searches looked fine, but clicking a link redirected to something unrelated (mostly...one cancer link sent me to a Neulasta ad...) It took my tech support friends a couple hours to make it go away. I was holding my breath for my continued access to Google searches, but luckily they pulled through and I can Google my heart out. All is right with the world. (At least on my computer :-P )
Thursday, December 13, 2007
No vacancy
Never before has my brain been so absolutely stuffed full of things. I've been neglecting this blog largely out of a complete lack of a place to start.
We continue to receive amazing support from most people in our lives through the starting of chemo. (If you're reading this you're not one of the people who hasn't been supportive...some people at my work have lost my respect though.) It's been hard on Steph and I'm learning to ask for, and accept, help when it is needed. I am still at times trying to figure out my place in this. Two short months ago I was technically (legally) single. Since October 20 I've been adjusting to:
1) living with a (3 actually) new person(s) for the 1st time
2) being married
3) being a father
4) owning a dog
5) supporting my wife in her new job
6) starting a new job of my own
7) cancer/chemo/post-op care
8) getting to know my new in-laws
9) trying to get my stuff out of the old apartment.
There's a lot of adjustment and adaptation going on in my life and in my head. This is an undeniable fact. I just can't figure out how I want people to feel about this. It's nice when people acknowledge that this is hard on me, but I don't like to feel like they think it's too much for me and I can't handle it. At the same time I feel like I'm doing my best to cope and get through the days doing the best I can, but it's sometimes uncomfortable to be told that I'm doing a great job, or to have it suggested that a lesser person might not be doing the things I am. Yes, I am doing everything that I know how to make life as happy as possible for my new family and to keep us all sane and happy, but what kind of person wouldn't?
The traditional vows (which we didn't actually get to say yet) are "in sickness and in health." All that's going on here is that we have hit the Sickness portion of the program right out of the gate, and we'll get to enjoy the Health bit later. That's kind of how I see it, and what I'm doing just doesn't seem all that special to me. Hard at times, absolutely, but I wouldn't want to know any man who would fail to at least try do the same things for his own family.
Reading over this I realize it sounds kind of...annoyed. That's not really the case. If people want to think I'm special, great! It just makes me wonder if there is a type of person out there who would seriously abandon his wife and/or kids because of something like this. I guess it does happen, but how could you live with yourself afterward?
On a lighter note, K2 has her Christmas program at school tomorrow. It should be adorable, and I will hopefully get video of it to post. Hooray!
We continue to receive amazing support from most people in our lives through the starting of chemo. (If you're reading this you're not one of the people who hasn't been supportive...some people at my work have lost my respect though.) It's been hard on Steph and I'm learning to ask for, and accept, help when it is needed. I am still at times trying to figure out my place in this. Two short months ago I was technically (legally) single. Since October 20 I've been adjusting to:
1) living with a (3 actually) new person(s) for the 1st time
2) being married
3) being a father
4) owning a dog
5) supporting my wife in her new job
6) starting a new job of my own
7) cancer/chemo/post-op care
8) getting to know my new in-laws
9) trying to get my stuff out of the old apartment.
There's a lot of adjustment and adaptation going on in my life and in my head. This is an undeniable fact. I just can't figure out how I want people to feel about this. It's nice when people acknowledge that this is hard on me, but I don't like to feel like they think it's too much for me and I can't handle it. At the same time I feel like I'm doing my best to cope and get through the days doing the best I can, but it's sometimes uncomfortable to be told that I'm doing a great job, or to have it suggested that a lesser person might not be doing the things I am. Yes, I am doing everything that I know how to make life as happy as possible for my new family and to keep us all sane and happy, but what kind of person wouldn't?
The traditional vows (which we didn't actually get to say yet) are "in sickness and in health." All that's going on here is that we have hit the Sickness portion of the program right out of the gate, and we'll get to enjoy the Health bit later. That's kind of how I see it, and what I'm doing just doesn't seem all that special to me. Hard at times, absolutely, but I wouldn't want to know any man who would fail to at least try do the same things for his own family.
Reading over this I realize it sounds kind of...annoyed. That's not really the case. If people want to think I'm special, great! It just makes me wonder if there is a type of person out there who would seriously abandon his wife and/or kids because of something like this. I guess it does happen, but how could you live with yourself afterward?
On a lighter note, K2 has her Christmas program at school tomorrow. It should be adorable, and I will hopefully get video of it to post. Hooray!
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